Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Review in Profane Existence

Dig it, folks:

"With a name like Sex Bunker how can this not be good right?  Well I was surprised to judge a band by its name.  To start off the A side is “I’d buy that for a dollar” basically a ballad of how Americans need to consumer everything that is flashed in front of them on the television.  Next is “Only Natural” a very nice snotty punk song  with some yelling vocals.  “A Man who had Faith”  followed by  “Sir, We Are they/Where I’m From”  and finally “Church of the Glowing Rectangle” all very well put together songs with some vocals reminding me of ANS more of the talking over the tracks then singing over them. With the last track talking about No one being there for him/them.  All in all I’m kinda sad I missed them in Minneapolis when they came through. Cool splatter packaging for this seven inch and you get stickers! Self-released.(XbezerkerX)"

I'm appreciating the ANS reference. Most excellent. Linkage!

Sunday, April 1, 2012

oh, hello again

tones are set, automating now, brian wilson phase nearly complete, see photo for motivation, ill write all about what happened, there are a lot of photos on the sex bunker facebook

more frequent updates/photos/anecdotes/maybe a sample soon

as seriously as a heart attack,

i could have sworn it was "agent mulder telling it like it is," but i guess it was the cigarette smoking man "telling agent mulder like it is," which in turn makes a lot more sense for what is being said on that track.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Minutes from SXBNKR Ltd. Shareholder Meeting, March 5th 2012

Last night was the most productive practice we've had in ages. As such, I'm hungover at work. Marijuana and water and rest is what I really need, but I'll settle for marijuana and water and black coffee for the time being.

In order to bring the three people who read this blog up to speed, we played a couple shows in late January and early February. Two were at a cool space in Bridgeport called the Orphanage, and one was in our neighbor's place. Here's some flyers, offered to authenticate my claims.

As our five-year anniversary as a band approaches, we're finally, actually, really preparing to release our first seven inch. I'm just as shocked as anyone else, considering I've been saying, "Yeah, we're gonna work on a seven inch sometime soon" for just about the whole duration of our existence as a band.

Last night, there was vigorous discussion regarding the recording of our slab of vinyl and the tour to follow. Walsh insisted a station wagon would be adequate to meet our transportation needs, and as much as I love the mental image of cruising across the Midwest in a 1987 Buick Roadmaster, realistically I think we'd need more space. Walsh claims I have a van fetish, which might be overstating things slightly, but I counter with this ringing endorsement of the Ford Econoline with Mike Watt, of Minutemen fame.

Also discussed, over a case of Old Style we cracked into at 10:15PM, was the art direction for the record. Woji is going to be handling the cover art, and we're going to attempt to screen the sleeves ourselves. If anything, it'll give us something to do while we wait for the test pressings to show up . . .

We have plenty of demos finished, so by the end of the coming weekend we hope to have the drum tracks "in the can," to use the parlance of the profession. We'll hopefully be able to record the drums in a . . . um, "unique" location. With any luck I'll have some pictures and more details with the next post.

The proposed tour dates are as follows - they're all tentative, but the bands listed are the bands we're hoping to play with on those nights.

5/24 - Milwaukee, WI
5/25 - Madison/Appleton, WI
5/26 - Minneapolis, MN
5/27 - Fargo, ND (with Fuck Detector)
5/28 - Ohama/Lincoln, NE
5/29 - Des Moines/Davenport, IA
5/30 - Bloomington, IL
5/31 - Indianapolis, IN (with the Classless)
6/01 - Kalamazoo, MI (with Inflatable Best Friend)
6/02 - Hammond, IN (with Decay After Death)

More recording shit soon! Pictures, video, maybe a podcast. Wait, what? Podcast? Yeah, probably not that last one.

This has been Mez, sweaty and looking just as terrible as ever.

Thursday, January 5, 2012


We're playing a last-minute show tonight at the Crown Tap Room tonight with FUCK DETECTOR (from North Dakota) and LIL' DAVE of THE ARRIVALS! Come on out and get a sample of our new tunes! Free Sex Bunker stickers for all, and we'll also have t-shirts with a new design!


2821 N. Milwaukee Ave., Chicago, IL 60647
10PM / 21+ / $5

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

A Notice from Management

It has come to the attention of the management of SXBNKR, Ltd. that a full 7-10% of people who access this website do so for the wrong reasons entirely. We ask those individuals to please vacate the premises immediately and reevaluate how they use the Internet. Thank you.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

A Musical Endeavor and Shameless Self-Promotion

I, Mez, am pleased to be the bearer of good news today.

First things first, SXBKNR is proud to announce their debut in the Basement, on this most holy of Fridays, SPINAL TAP DAY. (Otherwise known as 11/11/11)

And because this is our final show for the year, we figured we'd give you all something to remember us by as you head into 2012. That's right! New merchandise!

We'll have these stickers:

These shirts, featuring a BRAND SPANKIN' NEW design - just because Walshie liked it so much.

And for all of you who are still uppin' the punx, consistently and thoroughly, we'll have these patches.

All of these excellent things will also soon be available in our webstore. All proceeds go towards funding the seven inch! Can you dig it? I'm sure you can.

Monday, October 24, 2011

A Brave New Basement

The apartment that houses the offices of SXBNKR, Ltd. has seen many roommates come and go. Some have been party animals, others reclusive by nature. Besides myself (Mez) and the steadfast Heavy Metal Jason, there have been three other folks to pass through, along with a couple of couch-surfers.

Luckily, after our last minor housing crisis, Sex Bunker bassist extraordinaire Bert stepped up to the plate. After he made the back bedroom into an actual, livable space that appears as if it could be occupied by a human being, we set our sights on the basement.

Our Sonic Laboratory, or basement, had been serving us well for the most part, with one major flaw – flooding. For those of you not well-versed in such matters, water and electronic equipment generally aren’t good bedfellows. Water tends to hog all the blankets, and electronic equipment snores like a motherfucker.

Honestly, though, it was apparent that something needed to be done. With the addition of Bert to the menagerie, we found the motivation and manpower needed to take care of our leaky basement . . . or die trying.

First things first – clean up all the crap. And there was a lot of crap.

We also had some suspicions regarding a boarded-up door confirmed – it was indeed where monsters lived. It was suggested that it was actually the former front door of our apartment building, from back when street level in Pilsen was about six feet lower than it is now, but we all know that monsters are a more likely scenario.

After removing all the crap, we had to clean the basement. In order to waterproof, we’d have to apply a layer of waterproofing paint, followed by quick-drying “hydrostatic” concrete in certain spots, then another layer of waterproofing paint, then a layer of basement floor paint.

For the initial layer of waterproofing goo, we used roller brushes. It took a long damn time. Bert and I had purchased a five-gallon bucket of waterproofing paint and brought it home on the bus. While we initially hoped to finish the whole basement with one bucket, those hopes we soon dashed when we discovered how hard it was to paint an entire basement.

It took a long damn time, and a lot of damn white waterproofing goo. Of course, all that aforementioned crap had to go somewhere, and the drum riser in that picture up above couldn’t be taken out of the room without being torn apart. So we did the basement in halves. Here’s all the crap moved onto the first finished part so we could do the second half.

Jason was a major asset to the whole project – his gruntwork and handyman skills saved Bert and me from humiliation and failure many times. Though he would benefit from having a dry spot to hang out and play video games, Sex Bunker benefits a great deal more by having our shit stay dry. Here we see him not painting himself into a corner.

After getting the basement mostly white, we had to apply the “QUIK-DRY Hydrostatic Concrete” to add some extra water resistance to the seams in the basement. Jason and Bert applied the fast-setting crap outside, as well. The tub that the concrete came in boasted that it could withstand 2000 pounds of water pressure – there are no immediate plans to take the basement underwater, but I sleep soundly knowing that it’s now an option. The grey stuff all along the floor is the concrete, which was a massive pain-in-the-ass to apply.

Once the concrete was applied, we bought another bucket of waterproofing paint and rented a paint sprayer from the Home Depot. Unfortunately, this portion of the project was not as judiciously documented as the others, mostly because we were having too much fun playing with the power sprayer. Rest assured, it was awesome, and once we were done, the basement was white from floor all the way up the walls.

We had some friends over after we finished the waterproofing but not before applying the floor paint. The resulting disgusting off-white floor made us realize the floor must be painted. A coat of grey Water-Resistant Basement Floor Paint later, and our project was nearly finished . . .

Nearly finished because of all that aforementioned crap – there was nowhere to put it all, and it was everywhere. Musical equipment had been collecting in the basement for quite a while, and the collection of amps, drum pieces and general cords and wires was getting out of hand.

Our solution? We would create a storage room, built ourselves, right underneath the stairs. Then we could simply shove all the crap into a room, close the door, and forget about it.

This is where Jason’s carpentry skills came into full effect. He instructed us in making a frame, and how to attach it to the existing walls properly. This might seem obvious, but without Jason I’m pretty sure we would’ve ended up with a pile of lumber covered in a tarp.

All in all, it was a very successful project. We finished up mostly everything we needed to do (the door of the storage room still needs a knob – anyone out there got an extra doorknob?) and we escaped with only one minor mutilation!

When Jason left Bert and I unattended one afternoon, we foolishly tried to shave a half-inch off of a door with a handsaw. Stupid, we know. And now Bert has the scar to prove it!

After a trip to the emergency room, followed by the hardware store to pick up a hand planer, we managed to finish installing the door, just in time to throw a show.

So that’s the story of what I did this summer. $500 and a few weeks worth of work, and we have an awesome basement that’s ready to host some kickass shows. 2012 will be a damn fine year, I suspect.

Thursday, October 13, 2011


The Mutiny is really the only bar that I enjoy playing now that Broukal's (or Sid's or . . . Pub Time) sucks. That's a story for another day, but for the time being, I'll look forward to two free giant mugs of beer and the biggest urinal in the city.

See? I ain't lyin'.

We make our triumphant return to the Mutiny this Saturday, in the company of our old pals Decay After Death and local Latino rockers Por Mi Culpa, Eske and Huff. Did I mention it's free? Well, yeah, it's free.

Stay tuned next week, I'll have a post or two that chronicles our adventures waterproofing the basement and building a storage room. And there's rumors in the air of us buying a station wagon . . .

Tuesday, September 20, 2011


So since Bert moved into Sex Bunker's practice space, we've been working on the basement, trying to get it in top-notch shape. Finally, after waterproofing, wall-building, and one minor mutilation, we're ready to throw a show.

Dig it, kids: