Wednesday, November 30, 2011

A Notice from Management

It has come to the attention of the management of SXBNKR, Ltd. that a full 7-10% of people who access this website do so for the wrong reasons entirely. We ask those individuals to please vacate the premises immediately and reevaluate how they use the Internet. Thank you.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

A Musical Endeavor and Shameless Self-Promotion

I, Mez, am pleased to be the bearer of good news today.

First things first, SXBKNR is proud to announce their debut in the Basement, on this most holy of Fridays, SPINAL TAP DAY. (Otherwise known as 11/11/11)

And because this is our final show for the year, we figured we'd give you all something to remember us by as you head into 2012. That's right! New merchandise!

We'll have these stickers:

These shirts, featuring a BRAND SPANKIN' NEW design - just because Walshie liked it so much.

And for all of you who are still uppin' the punx, consistently and thoroughly, we'll have these patches.

All of these excellent things will also soon be available in our webstore. All proceeds go towards funding the seven inch! Can you dig it? I'm sure you can.

Monday, October 24, 2011

A Brave New Basement

The apartment that houses the offices of SXBNKR, Ltd. has seen many roommates come and go. Some have been party animals, others reclusive by nature. Besides myself (Mez) and the steadfast Heavy Metal Jason, there have been three other folks to pass through, along with a couple of couch-surfers.

Luckily, after our last minor housing crisis, Sex Bunker bassist extraordinaire Bert stepped up to the plate. After he made the back bedroom into an actual, livable space that appears as if it could be occupied by a human being, we set our sights on the basement.

Our Sonic Laboratory, or basement, had been serving us well for the most part, with one major flaw – flooding. For those of you not well-versed in such matters, water and electronic equipment generally aren’t good bedfellows. Water tends to hog all the blankets, and electronic equipment snores like a motherfucker.

Honestly, though, it was apparent that something needed to be done. With the addition of Bert to the menagerie, we found the motivation and manpower needed to take care of our leaky basement . . . or die trying.

First things first – clean up all the crap. And there was a lot of crap.

We also had some suspicions regarding a boarded-up door confirmed – it was indeed where monsters lived. It was suggested that it was actually the former front door of our apartment building, from back when street level in Pilsen was about six feet lower than it is now, but we all know that monsters are a more likely scenario.

After removing all the crap, we had to clean the basement. In order to waterproof, we’d have to apply a layer of waterproofing paint, followed by quick-drying “hydrostatic” concrete in certain spots, then another layer of waterproofing paint, then a layer of basement floor paint.

For the initial layer of waterproofing goo, we used roller brushes. It took a long damn time. Bert and I had purchased a five-gallon bucket of waterproofing paint and brought it home on the bus. While we initially hoped to finish the whole basement with one bucket, those hopes we soon dashed when we discovered how hard it was to paint an entire basement.

It took a long damn time, and a lot of damn white waterproofing goo. Of course, all that aforementioned crap had to go somewhere, and the drum riser in that picture up above couldn’t be taken out of the room without being torn apart. So we did the basement in halves. Here’s all the crap moved onto the first finished part so we could do the second half.

Jason was a major asset to the whole project – his gruntwork and handyman skills saved Bert and me from humiliation and failure many times. Though he would benefit from having a dry spot to hang out and play video games, Sex Bunker benefits a great deal more by having our shit stay dry. Here we see him not painting himself into a corner.

After getting the basement mostly white, we had to apply the “QUIK-DRY Hydrostatic Concrete” to add some extra water resistance to the seams in the basement. Jason and Bert applied the fast-setting crap outside, as well. The tub that the concrete came in boasted that it could withstand 2000 pounds of water pressure – there are no immediate plans to take the basement underwater, but I sleep soundly knowing that it’s now an option. The grey stuff all along the floor is the concrete, which was a massive pain-in-the-ass to apply.

Once the concrete was applied, we bought another bucket of waterproofing paint and rented a paint sprayer from the Home Depot. Unfortunately, this portion of the project was not as judiciously documented as the others, mostly because we were having too much fun playing with the power sprayer. Rest assured, it was awesome, and once we were done, the basement was white from floor all the way up the walls.

We had some friends over after we finished the waterproofing but not before applying the floor paint. The resulting disgusting off-white floor made us realize the floor must be painted. A coat of grey Water-Resistant Basement Floor Paint later, and our project was nearly finished . . .

Nearly finished because of all that aforementioned crap – there was nowhere to put it all, and it was everywhere. Musical equipment had been collecting in the basement for quite a while, and the collection of amps, drum pieces and general cords and wires was getting out of hand.

Our solution? We would create a storage room, built ourselves, right underneath the stairs. Then we could simply shove all the crap into a room, close the door, and forget about it.

This is where Jason’s carpentry skills came into full effect. He instructed us in making a frame, and how to attach it to the existing walls properly. This might seem obvious, but without Jason I’m pretty sure we would’ve ended up with a pile of lumber covered in a tarp.

All in all, it was a very successful project. We finished up mostly everything we needed to do (the door of the storage room still needs a knob – anyone out there got an extra doorknob?) and we escaped with only one minor mutilation!

When Jason left Bert and I unattended one afternoon, we foolishly tried to shave a half-inch off of a door with a handsaw. Stupid, we know. And now Bert has the scar to prove it!

After a trip to the emergency room, followed by the hardware store to pick up a hand planer, we managed to finish installing the door, just in time to throw a show.

So that’s the story of what I did this summer. $500 and a few weeks worth of work, and we have an awesome basement that’s ready to host some kickass shows. 2012 will be a damn fine year, I suspect.

Thursday, October 13, 2011


The Mutiny is really the only bar that I enjoy playing now that Broukal's (or Sid's or . . . Pub Time) sucks. That's a story for another day, but for the time being, I'll look forward to two free giant mugs of beer and the biggest urinal in the city.

See? I ain't lyin'.

We make our triumphant return to the Mutiny this Saturday, in the company of our old pals Decay After Death and local Latino rockers Por Mi Culpa, Eske and Huff. Did I mention it's free? Well, yeah, it's free.

Stay tuned next week, I'll have a post or two that chronicles our adventures waterproofing the basement and building a storage room. And there's rumors in the air of us buying a station wagon . . .

Tuesday, September 20, 2011


So since Bert moved into Sex Bunker's practice space, we've been working on the basement, trying to get it in top-notch shape. Finally, after waterproofing, wall-building, and one minor mutilation, we're ready to throw a show.

Dig it, kids:

Monday, September 12, 2011


So our set at VOID HAUS this past weekend was documented by Mary of MoMoNWI Photography, and there were some excellent fucking pictures taken. Check these out:

Wednesday, September 7, 2011


Our old pals, those loveable Motör-punx DECAY AFTER DEATH got themselves a house in Hammond, Indiana and are doing what dirty punk-n-rollers do best - throwing drunken shows in the basement.

We weaseled ourselves onto an upcoming bill and we are stoked! Two bar shows were enough to remind us why we liked house shows better.

Bring your beers and bullet belts, this will be a grand ole' time. And Austin AD has extended the invitation to sleep in the yard of VOID HAUS, so bring your tents, too!

Friday, August 19, 2011

The First One Was Not a Fluke

Indeed, we are playing another show! This one is 21+ unfortunately, but we need to stretch our fuckin' legs anyway. Get back down to our fighting weight, and all that.

There's an excellent fucking show coming up - MUCH WORSE from Minneapolis (I think) are coming to town on August 23rd and playing within walking distance from me. Fuckin' A. I'm gonna go apeshit.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Q: A show? An actual show?

A: Well, a bar show at least. And in the city of Chicago no less!

Vito from MP Productions e-mailed me out of the blue and asked if we wanted to get on the bill of a Manipulation/Shaved Christ/Flake Like show. Once the boys confirmed, we hopped on board.

Prepare! Mentally and physically! SEX BUNKER is back in town!


Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Hard at Work or Hardly Working?

Bert and Walsh, reaching new creative heights in the basement.

Mez, dictating his memoirs.

Pix by Woji.

Friday, July 22, 2011

Charles Manson, not Edward Cullen

So, last night I went down to Treasure Town, a really fucking cool DIY space just a few stops west off of the Pink Line. I went with the intention of seeing Lechuza, who are a totally fucking great metal/crust/ska-tinged/doom/whatever band. I saw them a few months ago at Archer Nemesis and their heavy riffage blew my mind out the back of my head. I don't know Lechuza's official stance on marijuana, but they've got enough Master of Reality-style Black Sabbath elements in there for a stoner like me to really dig on. I snagged a six pack of PBR and a one-day CTA pass (which will come in handy for picking up a fresh eighth today after work - again, stoner) and hopped on the train.

I also went to get my copy of BANNED! - a 'zine by two young dudes out of Berwyn. (BERRRWYN!) They caught Sex Bunker when we played with MDC about a year back, and I guess we made an impression on them. They reviewed Great, More Garbage in such glowing terms, I won't even bother to paraphrase, I'll just copy the whole damn review here - for the sake of my ego more than anything else.
"One of our favorite local bands, Sex Bunker, is back with their demo 'Great More Garbage.' Taking a different leaf from 'Everything is Awful,' Sex Bunker throws away their previously (semi) catchy choruses in favor of pure noise. That being said the band's new formula sounds more menacing, a bit like Detroit's Blight meets Sonic Youth and maybe a touch of Negative Approach for good measure. The lo-fi production adds to the band's heavy sound as vocalist, Mez, sounds like a kidnap victim screaming desperately for help out of the back of a trunk. Or maybe he's the one doing the kidnapping. Sex Bunker is not the type of band you want to listen to in front of your grandmother . . . or even your friends. Featuring unadulterated blasts of violent, angst filled (in a Charles Manson, not Edward Cullen sort of way), brain-melting music, Sex Bunker's new release is not for the faint of heart. But for everyone who's not a pussy, get it. Now."
Now that is right pretty word-smithing, right there. The Negative Approach reference in particular is awesome, because one of the first songs I covered in my first band was "Nothing" and John Brannon is one of the best hardcore screamers ever. MIDWEST RULES FUCK YOU!

Ahem. Sorry, I got a little overexcited there for a second.

Of course, I would've preferred that they used "everyone who's not a pasty, spineless tool of the Pig-Dogs" to "everyone who's not a pussy" but I'll take what I can get, especially when what I get is this excited about our music. I could go on about the gendered aspects of language, and how we can reinforce oppressive frames of thought through unintentionally sexist slang, but I'll save it for the lyrics. Just, y'know, do me a favor and read the lyrics, alright?

The last band I caught before heading home was Adelitas, who came all the way from Portland. They were fantastic. I hadn't intended on staying for their set because it was getting late and I needed my beauty sleep, but they played fourth instead of last, bumping Sin Orden (who I had to miss, unfortunately) and totally taking me by surprise.

I assume Adelitas take their name from La Adelita, which is a cool bit of history. They play hardcore punk with a heavy infusion of Latin American folk music. The thing that makes Adelitas stand out above the pack is the way their songs flow effortlessly back and forth from an ass-shaking Latin rhythm to headbanging hardcore. They were fantastic live - the band was tight and the singer was enthusiastic. Treasure Town is the second floor of a huge old warehouse, and the air was so thick with humidity that it felt like you could cut out a chunk and serve it on a plate. Oppressive conditions were cast aside, however, once Adelitas launched into the first of their Latin-flavored hardcore jams, and the crowd was dancing in no time.

I managed to snag a CD-R, along with a sticker and tour poster, but I'm gonna try and get my grubby mitts their new LP. I don't know what label they're on (if any) and I didn't catch the name of a distro that had 'em, but the bassist said they'd figure something out if I e-mailed them. I hope I don't have to wait until they're back home from tour.

It was a great night, all in all. Following a short train ride home I curled up in my bed with my mini-bubbler and smoked the last of my grass while reading BANNED. It was a great read - and it's cool that the whole thing is relatively Chicago-centric. Hopefully the boys from Berwyn keep cranking out more issues.

In the meantime, Sex Bunker has been hammering away in our basement, creating new slabs of sonic terror for you. "Bad acid trip music," as Bert says. Hopefully we'll have a demo to post sometime next week.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

The Future is a Shitty Website, Loading Forever

So, it seems like every few months we've been reassuring you that something is coming soon . . . and don't worry, it is.

But I feel as though I've been neglecting the more frivolous uses of this blog. For instance, Bert just moved into the apartment that houses both me (Mez) and our practice space. I feel like we should pepper this blog with pictures of him and I and various hijinks around the apartment. Smoking bongs in our underpants, perhaps. Or would that ruin the mystique we're trying to cultivate?

Regarding that mystique, I kinda feel like we have too many websites with our name plastered on them. Walsh would no doubt agree with me, but he is a hateful man who we try and deal with through a drum set or not at all. I think Walsh would prefer if we advertised our shows and music via smoke signals.

Right now I'm trying to update our page, because it still has stuff floating around from "Everything is Awful" on it. We also have a Songkick, which I only signed up for so that I could post upcoming shows on our Bandcamp page, which seems like the best way to disseminate free high-quality MP3s now that our MySpace is basically pointless. Additionally, we have a Facebook, because that's the style these days, and in turn, we have a ReverbNation account so that we can post songs on our aforementioned Facebook page. Then there's Twitter, which I can't figure out a good use for at all, and the Big Cartel site, which seemed to have a purpose, but now the damn Bandcamp has a shopping cart . . . And of course there's our YouTube page, which doesn't get updated nearly as often as it should. Perhaps videos of Bert and I smoking bongs in our underpants are in order?

Honestly, I only have myself to blame. I kinda went into some kind of pot-induced-website-sign-up-frenzy.

Speaking of people in their underpants, while I was on my website-sign-up-frenzy, I joined a site called without really looking at it first. Upon closer examination, I realized that it was fucking stupid. I should've realized that it was fucking stupid at the outset when I saw that the name of the site was "" but I was in that aforementioned website-sign-up-frenzy. (Hence the Songkick, Bandcamp,, Twitter, all that shit - I know, I'm a dork.)

The predominant feature of the site was a "models" section which basically consisted of "punk" looking girls vamping for the camera in their skivvies. If that's your bag, that's fine, but it's a little too "Punk Rock Maxim" for me. What's the point of all this punk rock bullshit if we just act the same as the mainstream, albeit with a bit more piercings and hair dye? Why is there a model rating system similar to on a supposedly "punk rock" website? Philisophical questions, to be sure. Phrases like "objectification," "sexism," and "the final paper from my Women and Gender Studies class" come to mind. (I can hear the peanut gallery already - "Don't you like girls, faggot?" Go back to the locker room, jock-o.)

Anyway, I finally managed to delete our account, so I guess we're not punk rockers anymore. Too bad, so sad.

Beyond that, I think it's better when girls are in bands, as opposed to when girls pose in their underpants for bands. Punk rock and hardcore are often way too much of a straight-white-boy-sausage-fest, and I'm fucking sick of it. I went to an all-boys Catholic high school, and it fucking sucked. I grew up in the lily-white southwest suburbs of Chicago, and it fucking sucked. Why in the hell would I want to participate in an all-boy, lily-white music scene? Chances are it'll fucking suck.

This is why I must find awesome female-fronted bands like the Scabs and the Outs and get them to play shows with us. Fenced is a local act comprised entirely of young punk rock ladies - I was thinking of asking them if they'd like to record an EP with Bert and I in the basement. (Side note - they just broke up. Bummer.) Of course, that's not to neglect the awesome Latino hardcore scene right in my own backyard. Sin Orden are head number one motherfuckers in that regard, at least in my mind. They carry the banner for Los Crudos, and Gordo, their drummer, is a righteous dude who also plays in Kontaminat. I'd love to play with some Latino bands again. After that, we'll find some politically-conscious black rappers. There has to be a few in Chicago, right? I dug on some tracks by BBU ("Chi Don't Dance" is a fucking jam) but they've gotten a bit out of our league, celebrity-wise, I think.

Anyway, this rambling rant has gone on long enough. At the very least, stay tuned for a picture of Bert and I smoking a bong in our underpants.

Stay tuned for Friday's post, when I talk about this:

See that? At the bottom? Listed next to independent media darlings Trash Talk and Fucked Up? That's right. It's us.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011


So, we're gonna be on the radio tonight. If you're on the northerly end of this great city of Chicago, you might even be able to listen to it on your radio. You do still have one of those, don't you? Check out WLUW 88.7FM tonight at 10PM. Our lovely track "Dubai Public Transit Cha-Cha" will be played.

If you're out of the range of Loyola University's transmitting power, then you can use these newfangled Internets to give a listen. Go to their site, click a button, and you can listen in iTunes.

Thanks to Ken from WLUW for putting us on his show!

Tuesday, June 21, 2011


So Lammie at the Don't Buy Records distro contacted me (Mez) and asked for a couple of tapes because of a review in Maximum Rocknroll. I don't have the July issue, but Lammie was kind enough to copy it for me. Dig on this shit:

SEX BUNKER - Angular and angry music from Chicago. Think fellow Chicagoans FOURTH ROTOR and make it faster and less reserved. Weird rhythms and nonsensical riffs crammed into rather ordinary song structures - they made me think, and I think I like it. Noisy and original punk? Into it. (Robert) (4-song cassette, lyrics included,

Pretty cool, methinks. Mezthinks. Anyway, I'm baked. It's early. I'm gonna get a copy and scan it and post it, just as proof. When we get Lammie the cassettes, I'll ask our many (ha) European fans to turn to Don't Buy as their European source for Sex Bunker shit.

Friday, June 3, 2011

Big Cartel Site

So I (Mez) went and started a Big Cartel page. We've only got limited supplies of our old "stock" - pssht, listen to me, talking like a capitalist.

Check it out!

Saturday, April 30, 2011

It's Sex Bunker . . . in cartoon form

Woji's school chum Eric (who maintains this marvelous blog) came out to Rockford a couple months ago to watch us play Disaster House. He took an excellent video of one of our newest tunes, and also took the time to draw this up:

Needless to say, it's quite awesome to be portrayed in cartoon form so excellently. Thanks Eric!

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

"Fred Hampton" Acoustic Cover

So our buddy down in Savannah, Quickdraw, made an acoustic cover of a Sex Bunker standby, "Fred Hampton Will Have His Revenge on Chicago." Check it out, tell us what you think. Personally, we're flattered. It's a very cool feeling to be covered.

Here's a picture of Quickdraw back when he was in a band with Walsh.

Friday, March 25, 2011

post garbage post punks

sex bunker is preparing and fine tuning new material. as i often joke with the band members, each new song written becomes a challenge for you, the listener, to attempt to dance to a song that isnt a 1-2-3-4 or 1-2 1-2 rhythm.

late february to present has been rather productive for sex bunker; an unmatched attention to musical detail, content, and production will ensure that our next release will be too scene for you punks, too diy for you freegans, too hi-fi for the noise crowd, too flaky for you crusties, and way too fucking long for the p/v kids (i promise its not free-jazz though.) expect a glut of new tunes, each more aberrant than the last, providing you with the finest minor sonics available in the newly created genre of bad acid trip music. that can be interpreted as "bad-acid trip-music" or "bad-acid-trip music." so pop those 2c-e laced tabs and sit in the dark waiting, we promise you we'll bring you down right when you're peaking.

working on my problem with writing sarcastically,
- bert

post sig, i am not really working on that "problem"

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Kill Your Idols (is practical advice for critical thinking)

So, right now I'm really glad I never got that Screeching Weasel tattoo I wanted to when I was eighteen.



4 chord punks fuck off.

- bert

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Vehicular Misadventure

So we did not get to grace Peoria with our presence. It was most unfortunate - there was weeping and nashing of teeth and also a little bit of quiet sobbing in the fetal position.

It's time for Shitbox II.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Sex Bunker in Peoria

So, once again Sex Bunker is leaving the confines of the Windy City we call home. We're headed to Bradley University in Peoria, to bring our brand of madness to the people.

Mr. Animal-Mother Benson, a new student at the aforementioned institution, found us a location that has all the amenities that Sex Bunker requires to play a show (i.e., a power outlet). We'll be playing Lydia's Lounge around 8 or 9 o'clock on Friday. It's located at 1501 West Bradley Avenue, which is apparently a dorm.

Joining us in this endeavor will be our old pals, those rockers the Studs. Mr. Benson and a compatriot will also be assaulting any eardrums within range with their brand-new act. It should be a damn grand time, all around. Hopefully Peoria can rock as hard as Rockford did.

In other news, I'm getting ready to set up two Chicago-area shows with thrash-punk-doom-sludge maniacs, Lord Green. I love the shit out of these guys and am fucking stoked to play with them. Also, stay tuned - Gordo from Sin Orden contacted me about having a show in the Bunker practice hole. I'm thinking early April.

This has been Mez, who just shaved his beard, so he no longer looks like this:

Saturday, February 26, 2011

The Continuing Adventures of Sex Bunker

Here's some video taken by a fine gentleman named Eric who caught us playing our newest song, "Only Natural" while we were at the Disaster House in Rockford. Can you dig it? I think you can.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Show in Rockford - Disaster House

Headin' on out to Disaster House, gonna have ourselves a time . . . Props to Eric for hooking us up.

In other news, Gordo from Sin Orden just called me about opening up the Bunker practice space
for shows. It seems like an okay idea . . . Stay tuned.

728 N. Winnebago St. Rockford, IL
8PM - Legal Defense Fundraiser, bring some bucks.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Reagan's 100th Birthday Extravaganza!

In honor of this esteemed elder statesman's centennial birthday, I present to you, my Reagan Smash Playlist.

The Ramones - Bonzo Goes to Bitburg

DRI - Reaganomics

Suicidal Tendencies - I Shot the Devil

Wasted Youth -Reagan's In

Dead Kennedys - We've Got a Bigger Problem Now

And of course, Dave Insurgent and his crew.

Reagan Youth - Reagan Youth

News on upcoming shows soon - Rockford in two weeks and Peoria in early March. Stay tuned.

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Drinking Black Coffee, Drinking Black Coffee, Drinking Black Coffee . . .


We're gonna play a show in Rockford on the 18th or 19th of February. It'll be at Disaster House, which is rad as hell sounding.

I'm also working on getting us out to Bradley University in March, hopefully on the 4th.

I'm gonna try and keep updating this thing more often, because hopefully we're gonna start doing more shit. Yeah, that there was a real lucid and cogent sentence.

I'd really like to try and play up in Grand Rapids, so I'm gonna see about calling Attention Span. Anybody check out their review in Razorcake not too long ago? They dude rails on 'em for taking the FEAR line, "I don't care about you, fuck you" and then says how he wants to hate the record . . . but can't. Because it's awesome.

Culo actually just got reviewed in the 'Cake as well, and were totally deserving of the lavish praise heaped upon them.

Anyway, flyers up as soon as I have 'em.

This has been Mez, who lives for the opportunity to put naked pictures of himself on the Internet.